Can we create something beautiful and destroy it?
by NarcoticSweetTalk
Summary: Adeline Moravec is not your normal girl and she most certainly does not have a normal life. Her past is dark and it seems that will follow her to the future with the help of Elijah Goldsworthy. Eli x OC Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1: This dizzy dreamer

**HELLO READERS!** Yes, this is my debut. Sorry, I am not a _great_ author. I write when I want to, unless fans ask me to write more. (Reviews are golden, by the way. They give me more motivation to update faster. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.) If you're like me, you're sick of scrolling through pages and pages of Eli/Clare pairings. I think, if it were real life, those two wouldn't even give each other a second glance. I mean, I love Clare. But I don't love the Eli/Clare pairing at all. So! I made this! Keep an open mind, please. This story will start off very slow, but will include violence, self mutilation, pain, love, happiness, sex, etc. Which is why it's rated **M**. If you are under 18 then I would hope you have the maturity to handle it if you decide to read it anyway. And on with the story!...

**x x x x**

"What the hell are you talking about?" The voice was shrill, very high pitched... so high pitched that I would have never expected my voice to get that high, even when I was singing I could never reach that note and here it was. Perhaps, people should throw bad news out of nowhere at me more often before shows and maybe I could have a better vocal range.

"Don't raise your voice, Addie , I have good reason. Dad is out of prison so we need to get far away from here. We're moving, Adeline." Damien, my brother, said. He was also my guardian. Since our mother passed away and our father was thrown into jail for having a meth lab in our basement, Damien was the only family I really had.

"How far is far?" I groaned. Of course, Id go wherever Damien wanted to go. And I sure as hell didn't want to be anywhere where Dad could find us. He was a total tweaker and I had no doubt in my mind that he has already gone on a hunt to find his meth to last him until he found us. I would not let that happen. It's not like Minnesota really held anything for me, anyway..

"Canada. So... yeah. We're getting out of the country. I have our visas ready and everything is set up. I'm sorry it's sudden, Addie, I just didn't know how to tell you all of this... we leave in the morning because in 2 days you start at your new school." Damien grinned, wrapping me up in his arms..

"Grreeeattt, Damien." I rolled my eyes, pushing him off me with a smirk.

**x x x x**

I was nervous, especially since the atmosphere in Canada was totally different. But I was excited, start over, make new friends, be someone new. Not to mention the drinking age was lower than in Minnesota. I only had 3 years to wait until I could waltz into a liquor store and purchase some booze, legally. C'mon, what kid isn't excited about having that sort of freedom?

I did my morning stretches, always determined to keep my thin figure. I couldn't afford to get a whole new wardrobe when most of the things I owned required me to be tini tiny. Not that I really minded. I needed something to keep me eating healthy and to keep me exercising.

I pulled on a pair of massacred thigh-highs, making sure the garters held it up nice and snug and wore a pair of black short shorts and a cut up band tee. Of course, not forgetting my signature leather jacket and my sexy caged heels. I was certainly one of a kind and the type of girl no mother would want to see her son with. And that was just based on looks. Beyond the rough, edgy exterior that I showed off to the world, I really was shy and sweet, side from the sarcastic, to-the-point and take-no-shit-from-no-one attitude. I was someone who never, ever pretended to be anyone else.

I painted on my thick eyeliner and messed up my long, platinum blond locks and went on my way to Degrassi High School. I wondered if there were people as out there as me at this school, or if it was another cheerleader, preppy bitch and jock ruled school. Not quite my cup of tea, but I'd handle it the same as I'd handle anything. Degrassi was definitely in for a treat.

Damien dropped me off at the school and I wasn't surprised to see heads whip around in my direction, most of them probably afraid I was going to come up and rip their heads off if they looked at me wrong. I couldn't stop the laugh that crawled out of my throat. I looked over to see a girl with a haircut that SHOULD only be worn on a 30 year old woman looking at me with her mouth ajar. I assumed she was a bible banger and was only staring me down because my outfit was probably considered promiscuous, even if technically her friend beside her wore less clothing than I did. The girl started to fumble with a pair of glasses that was sent tumbling out of her hand when her friend knocked them out of her grasp, only to be pumbled by a hearse where they were crushed.

'Wait... what the hell is there a hearse doing here?' I thought. I was starting to question the sanity of this school and how safe it was.

The hearse stopped and the door opened to reveal the cutest male specimen that I had ever laid my eyes on. He walked over and picked up the crushed glasses, handing them to the girl. "I think they're dead."

"Oh... um... it's okay,. I don't need them anymore. I, uh, got laser eye surgery." The girl said, shifting her gaze nervously.

"You've got pretty eyes." He smirked.

'Mysterious dark boy certainly is the little devil, isn't he?' I smiled and made my way into the school.

Of course, I could not deny that I was attracted to the guy, but I had had enough problems with boys in the past. I would not initiate any relationship with a guy like that. Especially the bad boy type. Of course, I was more inclined to become friends with guys than girls, and he was definitely someone I wouldn't mind building a friendship with. School had been in session for two weeks by now and people were confused to see a new face walking around, but I paid no attention, only continuing my way to the school office.

When I got there the old lady behind the counter was on the phone, gabbing away at someone. I didn't know what about and didn't bother listening. I merely tapped my long fingernails on the desk in attempts to annoy the old lady and get some service. The lady's teeth looked like they had beef jerky wedged way up into the crevices of her teeth, making her smile the freakiest thing I had ever seen. It was so bad that I was convinced no amount of floss could get rid of that gunk.

"How can I help you?" The lady asked, looking me over with a disapproving glare.

"Er... I just need my schedule. My name is Adeline Moravec." I couldn't lie, this lady was intimidating. If anyone scared the shit out of me, it was old people. They are not afraid to bend the rules to beat a child. No, sir.

"Just one minute." The lady coughed and hacked like she was trying to purge a giant flem ball from her throat. Luckily, she came back with my schedule, free of any gooey green substance.

"Do ya need someone to show you around?" She said in her crackly smoker's voice.

"Uh. No, thanks. I'll figure it out." And without another word, I turned her heel and walked away... very quickly. Anything to get away from the demon secretary.

"Mrs. Hackfield can be pretty freaky, huh?" I looked over to see a very girly-boy. Actually, I was sure it was a girl, but decided it wasn't appropriate to say anything.

"You mean that lady is actually married?" I snorted, trying not to laugh.

"Was. She's widowed." The girl-boy said, adjusting his/her hat.

"Ah, that figures. So, I'm Adeline and you are..?"

"Adam." He/She said. I decided to refer to her as a he until he admitted that he was actually a her.

"Nice to meet you. So, Adam. Would you mind telling me where my locker and my first class is? I am severely freaked out about how big this school is." I glanced down at my schedule, that I had yet to analyze. "It seems I have Writing and Poetry with Mrs. Kwan first."

"Yeah, no problem. The lockers are this way, but my friend Eli could probably show you to your first class. He's in the same one. My class is on the other side of the school first hour."

I followed Adam, trying to ignore the stares I could feel from all directions, picking me apart. It wasn't that I was scared, I was more annoyed that people kept staring, so I couldn't help snapping at them. "You know, if you all keep staring I'm going to chop off pieces of your hair and make voodoo dolls of you and stick pins through your knees."

That seemed to make most people shift their gaze while some people looked amused, including hearse boy who Adam was approaching.

"Hey, Eli. This is Adeline, Adeline, this is Eli. I wanted to know if you could show her to her class. You both have Writing and Poetry and if I do it I'll be late." Adam said and Eli nodded with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, no problem." He grinned at me and I smiled back.

"Alright, well here's your locker Adeline. 242, right? I need to get going. Thanks, Eli! See you guys later!" Adam waved and ran off to wherever it is he had to go.

And I was left alone with mysterious dark hearse boy. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach and I knew... this boy was going to be the death of me.


	2. Chapter 2: Is this fantasy real?

**Hello, again. **I just can't get enough of Eli. Can you? Anyways... this story is highly influenced by Pierce the Veil's "Selfish Machines" album. Their lyrics are so beautiful that if you are a fan of them you will notice I use their lyrics as the titles of my chapters, but you might also find me throwing them into the story as poems. Some of the poems I use are sentimental poems that either I have written or friends have written so please be respectful and don't take them and claim them as your own. Thanks and enjoy! :]

**x x x x**

My heart was beating so fast that I couldn't even bring myself to look at the back of Eli's head as he lead me to the classroom. I focused in on his boots walking in front of me, not daring to look up.

"So are you not very talkative, or what?" I nearly ran into him as he stopped right in his tracks and turned to face me, getting dangerously close making me even more nervous if that was possible.

"No... uh.. I mean, I talk, of course, I just don't know what to say. I'm still getting used to being in a new school. It's never comfortable at first, right?" I decided to look at him, just in case he was getting the impression that I wanted to jack his shoes because I was staring at them so much.

It was surprising, his eyes glinted emerald green and they were so beautiful and entrancing that I didn't hear a single word he was saying.

"Hello? Adeline? Are you there?" I shook my head and couldn't help the blush creeping up on my face.

"Sorry, I zoned out. I just... liked the color of your eyes."

He smirked. God damn, how much was I going to see this smirk until I melted into a puddle?

"I like your eyes, too, Adeline. Now! We should get to class." He put his hand on my back and gently pushed me towards the classroom.

**x x x x**

"We have a new student with us today, Miss Adeline Moravec, please welcome her and treat her well. Now, as usual it's Thursday so that means that you must write a short poem in 10 minutes that expresses you. Whether it's obvious, or abstract, it must be personal in some way or it will have no feeling. Your ten minutes starts... now." Mrs. Kwan smiled and moved back to her desk.

This was not difficult for me. I wrote poems often. In fact, I had a whole book full. The words just seemed to flow onto the paper and before I knew it my 10 minutes was up and Mrs. Kwan had asked me to be the first to read my poem. I was, no doubt, nervous, since it was personal, but everyone was going to say something personal, so I didn't dwell on it, I just read it.

_I can't take this anymore_

_I can't fight this war_

_The war just to be myself_

_The war to show I'm not someone else_

_If they would just open their eyes_

_What does it take to make them realize_

_I am the way I was intended to be_

_I am just me_

_Just me_

_Some play pretend to fit in some place_

_They wear a mask just to have a face_

_They live a life a total lie_

_That's not how I want to get by_

_I am the way I am_

_And I can't be changed_

_If you think different then you're deranged_

_My face is my own_

_My place is my home_

_I am just me._

_Just me._

"Wow, thank you, Adeline. That was wonderful. Mr. Kaplan you're up next." I smiled at Mrs. Kwan and took my seat again when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to face Eli and he handed me a sheet of paper.

_'That was a really good poem, Adeline. I think I can relate to it.' _I smiled and clicked my pen.

_'Thanks, Eli. And it's more just about being different, embracing who you really are and not being influenced by the picture of beauty that most people seem to have when everyone is really beautiful in their own way if they just let shine who they really are and aren't afraid of being that person.' _

_'You're pretty admirable. Hey, if you haven't met many people yet you should come eat lunch with Adam, Sav and I. It kinda sucks to eat by yourself your first day.'_

_'Thanks, Eli. I'll do that. ^_^'_

"Eli, please recite your poem." Mrs. Kwan said, interrupting our written conversation.

"Sure, Mrs. Kwan." He grinned, standing in front of the class.

_You never know what you have_

_Until the day you let it slip away_

_When it leaves you sad_

_And there's nothing more to say_

_All your life you've taken advantage_

_Now it's gone_

_Left you sitting there_

_Asking how will you manage?_

_How will you go on?_

_To every beginning_

_There lies an end_

_Where your left lonely and forgotten _

_Your heart is sore and your soul is rotten_

_Enjoy your silence _

_Enjoy your pain_

_You never know what you have_

_Until you let it slip away_

_It leaves you trapped at a dead end_

_The ever lasting end._

"Beautiful as always, Eli. You may sit." Mrs. Kwan said, about to move on to the next person when the bell range.

Eli and I both attempted to slip out the door at the same time and he merely sent me a smirk and kept going on his way. All I could think about is what it would be like to kiss him, touch him, hug him and run my fingers through his virtually perfect hair. God, I couldn't stop my heart from fluttering.

But I couldn't like Eli. I couldn't allow myself to get close and get my heart broken. Not again. Not after my mother dying, not after my father beat me and Damien after he hit rock bottom. And not after falling in love and getting your heart smashed to pieces by a sledgehammer. And no one had ever effected me so quickly. I can only imagine what would happen if someone like Elijah Goldsworthy broke my heart. I am much too unstable to even think about myself getting hurt again. My heart can't handle that anymore.

The next few classes were nothing special. The normal, boring, dull and shitty classes that I desperately wanted to skip, but there was no one to really skip with and it was my first day so I thought I would save the skipping for when I got to know my surroundings better. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime and I piled up my plate with a salad, peanut butter sandwhich on wheat bread and an apple. I wasn't kidding when I said I eat healthy and keep myself in shape. I enjoyed being thin and it took work to keep my body that way. Not to mention I am a vegan so my food choice is extremely limited.

It didn't take long to find Adam and Eli sitting at a table with Mr. President Sav Bhandari. I only knew who he was because of the morning announcements. He seemed pretty cool, his announcement amused me since it was so cheesy when he would flash the peace sign.

"Hey guys." I said shyly. I had planned a more confident approach than that, but I was very shy in most cases and Eli was still making me extremely nervous.

"Hey! Sav, this is Adeline, the girl I was telling you about." Eli said, which made me blush and I think he had planned it that way. Jerk.

"Ah, hey Adeline. How are you liking Degrassi? I love your band tee, by the way. We're all fans of Dead Hand." I let out a small sigh and happily took the open seat next to Eli. Sav seemed extremely easy going making me instantly more comfortable.

"Degrassi is not that bad. I mean, besides the girls that keep making gagging noises when they see me and the guys that whistle at me because I have some thigh showing. But other than that, I am rather enjoying the company." I grinned. "And good, I fucking love Dead Hand. I hear they're playing a show here soon."

"Yeah! I won four tickets to it and backstage passes, but my Dad wont let me go. He's a hardcore Muslim and since it's on a Monday he's not crazy about it. So we're having a contest for it after school today. Last person to have their hand on my Dad's truck wins the tickets. These two are going to try for it. You should too." Sav said, with a big beautiful smile. He did have nice teeth.

"Hell yeah, I'll do it. " Who wouldn't do that? I was positive I would win. I would do anything for those tickets.

"So, what's the deal with your food? Do you eat any real food?" Adam asked, laughing along with Sav.

"This is real food. I just choose to eat healthy and get all my most needed vitamins in since I am a vegan. So I don't eat meat or dairy product... or any animal buy product." I stabbed my fork into my spinach salad and shoveled it into my mouth. I, personally, found it to be delicious.

"You're insane!" Eli said, his eyes as big as saucers. That was most men's reaction to my eating habits but I just shrugged it off and smiled.

**x x x x**

3 hours, 50 minutes and 32 seconds on the clock so far and it was down to myself, Adam, Eli and a kid named Wesley Betenkamp, who Eli was currently working on scaring away by slowly spilling a bottle of water in front of him, which in no time sent him running away in fear of his bladder exploding.

It had exceeded to 5 hours and the three of us were still holding onto the truck, with no intention of moving even though I had been standing in heels.

"Okay, guys. I have an idea. I get two tickets, you both get one each and I give the other one to my brother who can drive us to the show free of charge." The two looked at eachother before glancing back at me.

"Alright, deal. Sav?" Eli looked up at him. "Give me and Adam a ticket and two over to the lovely lady who has been making her ankles bleed by standing in 4 inch heels for the passed 5 hours."

"About time you figured something out. I was seriously getting sick of waiting." Sav grinned, distributing the tickets as we agreed.

"Thanks for figuring out the ride for us. I don't think Morty would have made it all the way there." Eli smirked.

"Morty?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yup. That's what I named my hearse." I laughed, what a fitting name for a hearse.

"Well, isn't that nice. Anyway, I better get walking home. It's a ways away and my brother is probably wondering why this thing took until 8 o'clock." I smiled at Eli, still having the urge to see what those lips felt like, but I looked away quickly.

"Well, I can give you a ride home in Morty. You've already stood around for 5 hours in those things, I don't want you to come to school tomorrow with your feet all wrapped up because they bled to death." He smirked, taking my hand and dragging me off to his hearse.

"I guess I don't really get a choice." A smile spread across my lips as I jumped into the passenger seat of his beautiful vintage hearse.

And as far as Elijah Goldsworthy goes... he looks even hotter driving a hearse.


	3. Chapter 3: I just want to fade away

**I have something to say... **before people get angry about me using the word "faggotry", don't. I am not against gays. Not even in the slightest, in fact, one of my favorite people in the world is gay (Even though he's kind of a bitch and makes fun of me for over-pronouncing my "r's"). And I am pansexual, myself. If you don't know what that is you can look it up. So please, people... it's not bad to say something is gay or to call a gay person a fag unless you truly mean it in an offensive way. Most of them will just laugh along with you if you're their friend.

And, not to mention, this is only a story. So no flames for that, please. No flames at all would be nice, but I can't tell people that. And I do like people who critique my work. If you see me doing something repetitive and it annoys you just tell me. Or if you think I should change something about some part I will think about it. Just make it constructive criticism. Thank you. :D

What is your vision of Adeline and Damien? Banners would be really cool if people want to make them. I keep envisioning Adeline as Taylor Momsen. Most people aren't a fan of her, but I think she's extremely gorgeous. Not sure how I envision Damien yet, though. Hmmm...

Oh yeah. **REVIEW PLEASE.** It makes me update faster.

**x x x x**

"So, I'll see you at school tomorrow?" I smiled and nodded at Eli, slipping out of the car then sticking my head into the passenger side window.

"Thanks for the ride, Eli. You're kind of a lifesaver."

He flashed his signature smirk once again. "I'd be kind of a dick if I didn't. Besides, it's safe to say we're friends now right? I couldn't let you walk all the way here. It would have taken you at least 20 minutes, whereas it would only take 5 minutes of my time."

"You know, behind that mysterious, dark exterior lies such a sweet man. I bet you get all the ladies." I grinned.

"Well, I try to get the ladies, but most are scared off by Morty here before I get much of a chance. Luckily, those are all the ones I am not interested in. I better get going though, see you tomorrow, Adeline." He waved me off and stepped on the gas to get going.

I waved at him as he drove off, feeling the little tini tiny butterflies swarming around my tummy and trying to make their way up my throat where I let a sigh escape between my lips. He was just... wonderful. And we were friends, which is what I wanted, but why do I feel like I want it to be so much more than that? No. Like I said before, a relationship is the last thing I need. I need to protect myself... but if it became friends with benefits I wouldn't stop it. I smiled to myself and started to walk to the little quaint house we moved into the other night. It was small, but Damien and I didn't need much.

"Why did I see you just get dropped off by a hearse? Do they drive the winner of the Dead Hand tickets home in a hearse as a practical joke to parents and guardians or what?" Damien asked as he opened the front door to the house to let me in.

"No, actually! That was my new friend Eli. It's his car. He named it Morty. And I got two Dead Hand tickets, Eli got one and my other new friend Adam got one as well. Meaning, I give you one and you drive us in your nicely working car to the show on Monday!" I smiled, handing him the ticket which he took gladly.

"Awh, we aren't going to take the hearse? But it would be so much more fitting!" Damien laughed, making me punch him in the arm.

"You know, that makes sense, but Eli says his car isn't likely to make it up there. I guess Morty breaks down almost every week." I shrugged, grabbing an orange off the fruit bowl in the middle of the table.

I guess Damien's faggotry already kicked in because he had already designed the interior in the house and put everything in its proper place. Just to clear the air, that was not a joke of his feminism, Damien really is gay. And I wouldn't take him any other way.

"I better go get this make-up off and wash my face, then we can eat dinner and then have dessert and watch a good old horror movie before bed?" I said as I finished the rest of my orange. Damien was a vegan, too. Which made it a lot easier for me. It's nice not having to read ingredients on every package in your own house.

"Sounds perfect. I have cauliflower and vegan french bread and hummus for dinner and almond milk. Sound good? And then your favorite Rice Dream ice cream!" Damien replied, pulling on one of the two Hello Kitty aprons we bought at the Sanrio store. We couldn't resist. Damien loved Hello Kitty and i loved Chococat. Our living room literally looks like a Japanese toy store. It could not be helped.

**x x x x**

I let out the longest yawn I had ever conjured up in my life as I slammed my hand down onto the very, very annoying alarm clock. My bed was way too comfy to leave. The sheets were pure silk and my blanket was so soft and... just my whole bed was warm, but then I remembered Eli and his adorable cocky smirk and shot straight out of bed. Which would probably look pretty funny to most people since my room was designed to look like a vampire queen's lair. I wasn't necessarily a fan of vampires, but that is the easiest way to describe my room. A beautifully dark color scheme of red and black.

I rushed to get ready, not daring to wear heels again today since my feet suffered enough the day before, I wore black tights, a red plaid halter dress and black boots. And again, my leather jacket which I refused to leave the house without. I did my normal makeup, eyes circled in black and a dark red lipstick and went on my way downstairs, popping a couple pieces of wheat bread in the toaster.

"Your friend with the hearse is here. He so kindly said that he'd take you to school so I don't have to!" Damien grinned, holding his cup of tea in one hand and wearing a lime green silk robe.

"Well, I had to do something since you're taking us to the concert. Thought I would take her off your hands. Besides, I couldn't wait to see her again anyway." Eli winked at me and I blushed.

"Shut up. You don't mean that, Eli. And thanks Damien, for gracing us with your nearly naked presence. You can go in the living room and watch Zim now." Damien stuck his tongue out at me and I returned the favor.

"So where are your parents? I was expecting a disapproving father to stare me down and ask me if I violated his daughter and question my choice of vehicle." Eli walked into the kitchen, sitting up on the counter as my wheat bread popped out of the toaster for me to spread my peanut butter over.

"Ah, you won't have to worry about that, because my brother Damien is my guardian." I didn't look up at Eli, I just focused on my toast and hoped that he wouldn't question it any further.

"Oh, I see. Well, anyway. I was expecting a more extravagant vegan breakfast when I walked in here for some reason, but you really don't eat that much food." He stared down at the toast I was eating.

"Oh! No. I'm going to have a bowl of cereal, too. And an apple on the way to school." I grinned, pulling out plain Cheerios and our Almond milk.

"Just plain Cheerios? Without the honey? Wouldn't the honey make it have more taste? I can't imagine eating just plain Cheerios." Eli's face was still in shock at my food choices, and it was rather amusing.

"Yeah. I can't have honey. Honey comes from bees." I laughed at his expression, his face just dropped.

"You are seriously one hardcore vegan." He said, jumping off the counter and getting really close to me, only to stop me from overflowing my cereal with almond milk.

My face turned a deep red. I must have been so focused on laughing at him that I forgot to pay attention to what I was doing. He was so close to me, with his chest against my back, I wanted to lean into it and have his arms wrapped around me. But that wasn't going to happen, I looked up at him and smiled and he smirked back, seeming to lean in closer... and closer. I leaned in too as he closed his eyes and I did too. Our lips barely touched when a voice came booming into the room.

"Addie, you have 10 minutes to get to school. You better eat fast!" I sighed. God damn, Damien, ruining a perfect moment. Eli backed away and leaned against the counter, watching me stuff my food into my mouth before throwing it into the sink and grabbing my morning apple off the table.

"Let's go." I said, even though there was an apple clenched between my teeth and I was struggling to put my backpack on.

Eli smirked. Again. The fucking smirk is going to be the death of me! Literally, this was not okay. I was going to become a pile of putty very, very quickly if he kept doing things like this.

**x x x x**

Eli and I peeled into the parking lot blasting A Day to Remember and singing at the top of our lungs. He had wonderful taste in music and didn't mind me acting like a retard dancing and singing because he did the same thing. It was nice feeling like we just didn't care what the world thought, but then reality checked in when the music stopped and we started walking into the school. I bumped into some football jock who twirled around and started running his mouth.

"Watch where you're going freak girl!" He yelled. I spun around to be faced with 'Jacob Black' in the flesh and scoffed.

"Please, my bony body couldn't have possibly hurt you, so stop your bitching." I glared at him, which had to be scary enough with my thickly lined eyes.

"You know, you're so pathetic I doubt any guy would want you. They'd probably fuck you and then leave you for dead in a ditch." That hit me. I looked to the ground and shifted my eyes at the people around watching. "Oh! Was I right? Did a guy already do that to you because you're not worth anyone's fucking time?"

"Hey! Do you really think yelling at a girl makes you a man? No, really. Inform me of that because to me the only pathetic one here is you. And any girl who gets involved with you gets screwed over and left behind so I don't think you should be talking, you fucking moron!" I was surprised to see Eli standing up for me, but I couldn't stop my body from shaking.

I couldn't help, but feel bad about myself, because what he said was true. It had happened to me and I felt worthless. That's why I can't believe in love anymore. There was a big hole in my heart and it was like none of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole. And I wasn't sure how to change that, but whenever I thought about it, whenever someone or something reminded me, my whole body shook and my heart hurt and I would cry. And I could feel the panic attack coming on.

I watched the jock grab Eli by the shirt and throw him against the lockers. "What the fuck did you just say to me death boy?" He yelled in his ear.

"Oh, please. You don't scare me, Drew." I started to feel frantic.

"Fuck! Stop it, please! Stop!" I screamed it, I couldn't help it. I was getting to the edge and it was so easy for me to do. I walked up and grabbed Drew's arm, slicing my long nails into his skin so he'd let go.

"Ow, fuck! What the hell are you?" He yelled, blood racing down his arm as he let Eli go.

I ignored him, grabbing Eli's hand and running away with him. I ran until I couldn't see people anymore and stopped. I had been crying and I could feel my chest tightening up. My breathing was quick and I kept gasping for air.

"Are... are you okay, Adeline?" Eli put his hand on my shoulder and I dropped to the ground.

"No... no I'm not okay. Not right now. You should go to class. Tell Mrs. Kwan I'll be there soon. I'm fine with a tardy I just need to fix myself up and calm down, okay?" I watched black tears fall onto the floor, probably from all my make-up that I would desperately need to fix.

"I don't want to leave you like this, Adeline." He looked at me sadly, crouching down on the ground behind me and wrapping his arms around me.

"I'll be fine, Eli. I just need to make myself look decent and I'll be there." I looked up and gave him a faint smile.

"Okay. If you're not back in class in 10 minutes though, I am coming to find you." He leaned over and pressed his lips to my cheek.

"I will be there. Don't worry."

**x x x x**

I ran to the bathroom. Looking up to stare at my reflection in my mirror. Surprisingly my makeup wasn't that smeared up, but I still needed a new layer of foundation and my eye make up definitely needed to be touched up, but other than that it wasn't too terrible. Nothing that couldn't be easily fixed, but that was not the only reason I needed to be by myself.

"As times like this run up my wrist, she hates all of the guts and blood." I whispered to myself, taking out my perfectly sharpened razor.

It wasn't for attention. It wasn't something I told people, but this little glint of metal really pulled you away from reality. The physical pain numbed all the emotional pain and it would make everything quiet. It would stall all the voices in my head telling me I wasn't good enough. It would stop me from worrying about when I got too close to Eli he would do the same thing the last boy did. It would stop me from my Dad haunting my dreams. It stopped me from feeling all the pain, from feeling that little void in my heart that couldn't be filled.

I stared down the razor as it glinted in the light and watched it move to my wrist, cutting a thin line across and took me away. The cut stung, a stinging sensation you could only get from a razor. I could use a scissors, or a knife and maybe that wouldn't sting as badly, but the sting occupied my mind, made me forget. I closed my eyes and let the feeling take over for a moment before putting the razor back in its case in my bag and cleaning off my wound, wrapping it in gauze so it wouldn't leak through or drip down during school. The bleeding would stop soon. I only go deep enough for it to sting, but not deep enough for it to kill me.

What's the point? Some might think. Why don't you just kill yourself? Get it over with? Because. I may have pain in my life, but I don't want to die. I have my brother. He is my world and the only one worth living for. And he is enough. So I wont die. I'm not selfish enough to kill myself just because I'm sick of the world. There are other people's feelings involved. And I would wonder if that's what people who do commit suicide think about before they die. If they did... would it stop them? It stops me.


	4. Chapter 4: A million kissed underwater

**Five reviews! **Two of which from the same person, but it still makes me feel happy and fuzzy inside. Thanks to **danie568** for being supportive so far and 'AmethystSunsetx3' who wasn't signed in so I wasn't able to PM you to answer your question if Clare will be in the story at all.

Clare _will_ show up in the story. She makes things pretty interesting. :] It may be a while yet, just wait.

As a disclaimer, there are times where I wont update the story for a few days and may sometimes be once a week, but I will try my best to keep dishing them out so people stay satisfied (and don't forget the story. I know I get confused after I get a story alert from a fanfic that I read a month prior). So please stay with me and keep the reviews coming. Good, or bad. I want them. :D

Again, I apologize if the last chapter was a bit gruesome for people, but Eli is kind of dark so I wanted to make a dark story, but that doesn't mean there wont be light moments! Enjoy.

P.S. If you haven't seen 500 Days of Summer, I apologize for the confusion. But you should watch it. .nods.

P.P.S. You're safe this chapter, but next chapter I must warn you is going to be pretty dirty. So if you're young and don't want to read that, you may skip it. There's nothing that will be too important.

**x x x x**

My arm was still stinging when I got into Mrs. Kwan's class who didn't look to pleased that I was 15 minutes late and only let it slide because she had heard about what had happened. Nearly everyone was talking about it and giving me the stare down, so I wasn't surprised that after the small scolding she gave me, she looked extremely apologetic and I merely gave her a weak smile. It was the best I could conjure up since the stinging of the arm was a bit overwhelming.

"Eli suggested that you two be paired up for our first project of the semester. You must write a collaborative poem on something you both can relate to. It can be about anything, just give it feeling. I'm really excited to see what you two come up with since you're both brilliant writers." Mrs. Kwan grinned, then allowed the class to pair up with their partners and discuss what they would do the poem on.

I turned around in my seat to face Eli, who lifted his eyes to look straight into mine, giving my heart a little jolt of nervousness.

"Well, this is surely going to force us to get to know each other a little better. How are you feeling, by the way?" Eli asked, pulling my hair out of my face.

"I am okay now, Eli. Thank you." I smiled, genuinely, because there was no way I could be upset for long when I looked at him. I didn't even feel the cut's sting when he smiled back.

"So... what do you think we should do this poem on? I'm not quite sure what we both relate to, other than being different, but I feel like it should be more interesting than that." Eli looked down at his paper in thought.

I tried to think, too, but I really wasn't that familiar with Eli yet. Hmm... maybe... "Well, maybe we should skip after class, go to my house and hang out. Damien is going to be at work until 6 anyways and school is making me feel a little bit shaky today."

Eli's mouth slanted into a slightly unamused and sad look. "I understand, Adeline. We can take Morty to your place then." He gave me a small smile and it was adorable how he turned from the dark, mysterious and sexy person he was to a cute little boy.

God, he was amazing.

**x x x x**

"So, how come you just started going to Degrassi yesterday? It looks like you guys have been here for a while." Eli said, poking a large stuffed Hello Kitty in the nose as he settled into the living room.

"Because we really haven't been. I think Damien went crazy decorating the interior and unpacking. Interior design is his thing." I nodded, looking around the living room a bit more. It really was an explosion of pink. "He's gay, by the way. I'm sure you already figured that out though, I just thought it would be useful to clarify. That doesn't weird you out, does it?"

Eli smiled and shook his head. "No, I don't really give a shit about sexuality. I mean, I could, personally, never see myself with a guy, but if a guy wants to date a guy or a girl wants to date a girl that is beyond me."

"I'm glad it doesn't bother you. I had a few friends in the past that quit speaking to me when they found out he was gay. So I just let people know right away. Because it's better not to get close to the person and have them leave." I looked down to my feet, biting my lip. It bummed me out a bit, to think about it. To think that even though I have all these wild feelings roaming around my stomach for Eli, I will never have him. It's not like I don't have a chance to be, but I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to give him my heart and then have him crush it. It's better my heart is kept in a steel cage.

"I know the feeling." I looked up and gave him a small smile, then switched my gaze over to the DVDs.

"What are you feeling, horror, comedy, action..." I listed off the genres, skimming through our lovely collection.

"Let's watch 500 Days of Summer." My eyes widened at that. A boy wanting to watch a romance movie? And Eli at that. Quite.. quite interesting.

I popped in the movie, turning down the lights and then joining him on the couch.

"Just so you know, this movie always makes me cry." I told him, a forewarning for when I start tearing up.

"Why is that?" He looked over to me and I couldn't help but be a bit mesmerized by how the glare of the t.v. made his eyes shine. They looked even more beautiful.

"Well... because Tom is completely in love with Summer. She's his everything. And then it turns out that their relationship was never a relationship and never going to be. And she just walked out of his life." I could feel my eyes tearing up at the thought.

"Yeah, but then... when you lose a Summer, you find your Autumn." Eli turned his attention to the screen and I smiled.

"Did you have a Summer?" I asked, watching him brush his hair out of his face with his hand full of skull rings making him all the more attractive.

"I did." He looked over to me. "And I have a feeling I am getting quite close to getting my Autumn."

**x x x x**

The movie ended and it was nearly lunch time so I fed Eli some good 'ol vegan food that he scarfed down without a problem and then I was a bit at a loss of what to do.

"Hmm..." I sighed, looking around in thought. Eli mocked me with his own 'hmm..' and I merely stuck my tongue out at him. I browsed the kitchen and my eyes landed on the liquor cabinet. Light bulb.

"Do you drink, Eli?" I cocked my head, looking at him, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah. Why? Won't your brother be a little mad that minors are drinking at his house?" Eli lifted an eyebrow.

"Not as long as it's a small get together and we don't go anywhere." I smiled. "Besides, we have 6 hours until he gets back and what better way to get to know each other than having some drinks?"

"Okay, but if he comes back and he's angry you better bury me in the 2,000 Hello Kitty's in the other room." He said seriously.

"Deal." I grinned, walking over and pulling out the Captain. "I will mix you my specialty!"

**x x x x**

"It totally tastes like creamsickles!" Eli laughed, gulping down his second mixed drink. We were definitely intoxicated. As both of the drinks that we consumed were probably a total of 15 shots.

"I told you!" I giggled, laying back into the couch.

Eli sat down on my legs and I let out a groan. "Nooo! Your bony butt will bruise my bony legs!"

I slipped them out from underneath him and sat up, grabbing my drink off the coffee table and taking a drink. I looked back to see him smiling, his mess of hair over his eyes. I set my drink down and looked at him. For a moment we were just staring at each other, then I gave into my urges and lifted my hand, brushing the hair from his face. There was no smiling, no emotion in our faces, we just stared at each other. I took in his features, admiring his almond shaped eyes and virtually perfect mouth that always made my heart swoon when he smiled. My hand moved to his necklace, admiring it. He always wore it and I wondered why, but I couldn't speak. I was in a trance. I let my fingers trace up the chain and grazed his neck, bringing my hand up to his face, I leaned forward. I couldn't stop myself. All the feelings mixed up in side of me. Curiosity, the butterflies in my stomach just by listening to him breathe, how much lust completely overcame my whole body when I looked into his eyes. I had to kiss him. And intoxication was the perfect excuse.

_Collide invisible lips like a shadow on the wall._

When our lips touched, there were fireworks. And I know how cheesy that sounds. It's very much a cliche, but so true. And I never, ever knew I could feel this way when kissing someone. And maybe it was the alcohol playing tricks on me, but I didn't care. Anything to keep this feeling as close as possible. It was inside of me, it was the aura around us, it was Elijah Goldsworthy. And god, was he an amazing kisser.

He nipped my lip and I couldn't keep the moan from coming out of my mouth when I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth, massaging against my own, going all the right places. It was unbelievable. It felt like hours of making out and biting each other's bottom lip when it was merely only minutes. And before we knew it, the front door creaked open indicating that Damien was home and we moved away from each other, pretending nothing had happened.

"Hey, Adeline. The school called me. I told them you were sick. You're lucky I am not a real parent." He walked into the room, seeing Eli and sent him a smile. "What's up, Eli? I see you guys broke into the liquor cabinet. No going anywhere, though. Morty better not be moved even an inch tonight."

"No problem." I could still feel the blush on my face. Luckily, the room was completely dark so there was no way Damien would notice.

"Anyway. I got a hot date tonight." Damien grinned. "Met a guy named Marco Del Rossi, and man is he sexy. And now, I have to get get sexy. You kids behave tonight! I wouldn't expect me home." Damien winked at us and ran up the stairs to go make himself look pretty.

"Well, uhh... " I looked around, suddenly feeling very awkward. I wanted to kiss Eli again, but with Damien here I didn't want the risk of him waltzing downstairs to ask me which outfit he should wear and break up another make out session so I stuck to moving my attention to the television.

"I'll kiss you again once he leaves." Eli smirked.

God, that fucking smirk.


	5. Chapter 5: It turns me on

**WARNING!** **This chapter is basically a sex scene. **If you don't want to read, don't read it. There is nothing really that important in here, so you have every right to skip it. You have been warned!

Damien left, leaving me alone, once again, with Eli. And he wasted no time getting back to my lips. Immediately when the door shut he pushed my shoulders down onto the couch, crawling on top of me and pressing his lips to mine, giving me a rush of whole new feelings. It wasn't sweet, and I definitely didn't want it to be. It was intense and beautiful, rough and passionate, but not romantic. And at that point, I didn't want it to be. I was running on lust. I could feel him getting hard against my thigh, sending waves of passion through my lower region, I couldn't stop myself from moaning.

"Adeline." Eli's voice was husky as he kissed my earlobe before whispering, "I want you... in the most unromantic way."

My heart fluttered and I felt myself get hot. I kissed his jaw and let my hand travel to his wrist, pushing him up with my other hand and pulling him with me, up the stairs and through my bedroom door, shutting it behind me and in no time he attatched our lips once again, pressing me against the wood of the door. His hands weaved through my long blonde locks, tugging at them only slightly, and moving his hands downward to cup my breasts and I let my lips drift from his for only a moment to let out a sigh. He traced his hands up to my shoulders, pushing my jacket off of them and let it fall to the floor and then traced his right hand down my back, finding the zipper of my dress and slowly unzipping it, making me all the more impatient.

I took off his shirt, throwing it to the floor and he slipped out of his pants when I peeled my tights off my legs. My body felt so amazing when he grabbed me and let his hands roam my skin. His hands were soft, leaving shivers all over my body. Unexpectedly, he scooped me up in his arms and laid me onto the bed. I wasn't scared to let him have my body. It felt so natural to be with Eli and even if he did up and leave me in the morning, or throw me away when he was done using me up, I didn't mind. My heart was detached. And there was no way I would let him have it. Oh, no. It would be much too fragile in his hands.

He crawled next to me, laying on his side while I was still on my back and started to leave small kisses over my neck, and collarbone, to between my breasts, to my stomach. His hands lightly drifted over my breasts and down my stomach where he was kissing my hip bones, making me hotter and hotter by the second until he hooked his fingers onto my panties, pulling them down and out of the way and started kissing lower. The moan left my mouth and turned into a scream when his tongue flicked over my clit, making my body go wild. I wasn't afraid to be loud, I wanted him to know how he was making me feel. We were teenagers, letting our hormones take over our entire bodies.

His tongue entered me, making my body squirm. The feeling was so overwhelming I had to turn my head to clench my teeth down onto my pillow. The heat rising up in my lower body, the feeling was indescribeable. I could feel myself getting very close to an orgasm and then he stopped crawling over me and I realized he no longer had his boxers on.

"I don't have a condom, Addie." He was breathless and I whimpered, wanting him. All of him.

"Don't worry about that. I take birth control." I nipped at his jaw. "I want you inside me, Eli. I want all of you, please."

"How can I say no when you sound that sexy?" He let out a sexy laugh and immediately slammed into me, making me scream in pleasure.

The bed shook, my body shook. I couldn't even think. All I could think about was the amazing feeling building up, making me explode. And he was no where near finished. He continued to pound into me as I had orgasm, after orgasm. I had never been with anyone that could make me feel this good. And jesus, Eli was amazing. It felt like hours went by and when it was finally over, it took so much for me to calm down, for my body to stop shaking. How was he that good? I never, ever thought anyone could make a girl feel that way.

"Where did you learn how to be that amazing?" I was still trying to catch my breath as my head rested on his chest.

"The internet has answers to all questions." I could just feel his smirk and he kissed the top of my head.

When I calmed down enough, I traveled over to the dresser, putting on my pajamas, making sure to grab a long sleeved shirt. Now that I remembered it, I was relieved that he didn't touch my wrist. I had taken the gauze off hours ago once it stopped bleeding, but the scars were not hard to miss even if you just barely touched my wrist.

"I'll get you pajama pants a shirt from Damien's room. I'll be right back." I left the room, still trying to process everything. God, he was wonderful. And not just the sex, the way he was so casual afterwards, how everything was back to normal. And his smirk, the way he carries himself and how he doesn't let anyone walk all over him and how he cared. And I hoped it wasn't just a facade.

When I came back he took them, getting dressed in the dark. Not that I would mind watching him in the light. Yes, my mind was still on a bit of the dirty rampage, but my body would kill me if I went in for another round, so he crawled into bed and we slept. There was no easier way to sleep than in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6: Contagious

**You guys are fucking amazing!** Really, I was not expecting so many reviews so you so much for the support. And sorry for the wait, been busy job hunting and having fun. Had not much motivation to write either. But! That will change.

And, just to clarify... I really hate the word 'emo', even the way it sounds makes me cringe so if you can avoid calling Adeline that, please do. I'm trying to keep the Degrassi drama up to par. The whole "nothing can happen without it instigating something worse happening". Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. :]

And I did get an interesting review from one person, who suggested that pain is the only thing people think about when they do cut. At least, I think that was it. If not feel free to correct me. :] But I have been there. You will find that anything I write in my stories... are probably things I have experienced. Hopefully, that doesn't make it awkward after reading chapter 5 (If you read it) . Ahh.. heeheemm... If there is one thing I have learned from writing it's that you should write what you know. And if you want to include something you aren't familiar with, you will have to do quite a bit of research or readers will judge you on what you don't know. The writer's world is scary, isn't it? Lots of criticism. But I shouldn't clog up the story with my rambling.

So! To the story!

**x x x x**

I groaned, rolling over in my bed. It felt like little kittens were crawling around in my tummy while still in their little gross bubbles. Like when they're born. Yeah, thank you Captain Morgan. I squinted my eyes open, they felt all gooey. Probably due to the fact that I didn't bother taking my makeup off last night. I probably looked _really_ attractive. Eli was sitting at the edge of my bed, fully dressed with a notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand. He looked really attractive when he was in thought.

"Good morning." My voice crackled and Eli looked up, smiling at me.

"Hey beautiful." He grinned and I couldn't help, but blush. Then it came to me.

Shit, we had sex last night. What was I going to tell him? Did he remember? Did he think we were together now? I had to tell him this couldn't go anywhere, but how? I was afraid, maybe he'd run away, but then again it wouldn't hurt me now with it being so early. Maybe.

"Uh, Eli... I..." I sat up in my bed and started fiddling with my fingers. "About last night... it didn't mean anything, right? I... I can't... I mean I don't have relationships... anymore..."

Eli's features dropped, he seemed so happy only a moment ago and now his face was emotionless and he looked away, out the window. "Are you kidding, Adeline? I did those things with you because I liked you. I don't just advertise my body for people to violate."

He seemed angry and my heart dropped. I never thought Eli would be angry with me, but I guess that would be just my luck.

"Eli, I was drunk, I don't know what to tell you. I'm afraid of getting close to you." I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to will my headache away. "I can already feel things for you. It scares me how easily you could crush my heart if I let you have it. I can't give it away that easy, but I don't want to lose you. And I love... being with you."

"So, we're supposed to do the friends with benefits thing, huh?" He looked over to me, not showing any signs of being fond of the idea. "I don't do that, Adeline. We can still be friends, but I wont wait around for you to give me your heart when you're ready to. I will date other people."

My eyes teared up. No, I didn't like the idea of Eli being with someone else, seeing him with someone else, but I was no where near ready to give my heart away and be vulnerable. "I just don't know what I would do if my heart was broken again. I'm not stable now and I'm not ready for a relationship. If I was going to be with you I'd have to know you and truly believe that you wouldn't leave me." I sighed. "But I definitely don't want to lose you. Not even as a friend."

"Then it's settled, I guess. But I better go home, parents are probably wondering." He set aside the notebook and pen and got up, walking around the bed and pulling me into a hug. He smelled faintly like vanilla and ocean surf deodorant. And it was one wonderful scent. "Sorry... I got mad. We were drunk, right? There's nothing we can do about it now."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, too, Eli. Should I come over later? We still have a poem to write and I still haven't seen what your household is like." I looked up at him for a brief moment. His eyes were closed like he was relishing in the hug... like he didn't want to let go. And I didn't want him to either.

"Yeah, I'll text you when you can come over." He finally opened his eyes and released me from his perfect embrace. Grr. "Talk to you later, Addie."

And with that he left. I let my eyes drift over to the notebook, pulling it into my lap where there was a small poem scribbled onto it.

_And I don't care if you're sick,_

_I don't care if you're contagious._

_I would kiss you even if you were dead._

_'Cause I'd do anything to hold your hand._

I traced my fingers across the ink, silently wishing he would walk back through that door and say, "I won't ever hurt you, Adeline. Take a chance with me, trust me... fall in love with me. Because if you give me your heart, I'll give you mine."

But that wasn't going to happen. They'd known each other for how long? Three days? Not even. It was silly. But the poem meant that Eli was feeling the same things as I was. I would just have to keep being friends and eventually, maybe I could trust him. Maybe.

There was a knock on my door and a couple seconds later Damien walked in with a big bright smile.

"HELLO GORGE... zombie lady. Nice smeared up make-up. Shouldn't you know better than to leave it on before you go to sleep?" He jumped onto the bed next to me and his eyes glinted over to the notebook. "Did you write that poem?"

"Er... no. Eli was writing it when I woke up this morning." I bit my lip and let out an audible sigh.

"He is quite the catch. Speaking of catches! Marco and I are going to go out again tonight. God! He is gorgeous. He's picking me up this time so you'll have to meet him. He went to Degrassi school for a while once too! And was a student teacher!" Damien grinned and I smiled in response. At least someone was having better luck than I am with relationships.

"Damien..." I looked over at him, feeling a bit distraught. "Why aren't you afraid to fall in love? Or get hurt?"

His face fell and he looked at me sadly, sitting up and putting his arm around me. "Because if you don't take the risk of getting hurt, then you might miss out and keep wondering 'what if?'. Even if you get hurt you have to pick yourself back up and think, 'If we weren't meant to be, we just weren't meant to be, and my perfect someone is out there somewhere!'. Positive thoughts, Addie." He squeezed my shoulder and I smiled.

"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind." My eyes wandered back to the notebook and I felt my heart flutter.

"Good. Because I think that Eli guy is a pretty good guy. He likes you and I think he deserves a chance." Damien smiled. "Now! I am going to go brew up a wonderful breakfast for us and you should get that crap off your face and wash it, you dirty girl. I bet you forgot to brush your teeth too."

I stuck my tongue out at him as he left and giggled. Then I grabbed my laptop off my bedside and signed into MSN. Surprisingly, Eli was online. Just the person I needed to talk to.

Add-a-line [Summer and gold throw their colors at the dark.] says:

Hey.. I wanted to talk to you about something.

ELI. just the trace the lines of your paisley jacket. says:

Oh boy. Should I be scared? :]

Add-a-line [Summer and gold throw their colors at the dark.] says:

No... you shouldn't be. I am fucking terrified myself. I wanted to talk about what we talked about earlier. I talked with Damien and he said some stuff to me.

ELI. just the trace the lines of your paisley jacket. says:

Hmm, like what?

Add-a-line [Summer and gold throw their colors at the dark.] says:

He told me if I don't take the risk of getting hurt, someday I'll wonder 'what if?' and I could miss out on something good.

ELI. just the trace the lines of your paisley jacket. says:

Damien has wise words.

Add-a-line [Summer and gold throw their colors at the dark.] says:

I like you, Eli. But I think for now we should still be friends, get to know each other more, but once I know you and if we still feel the same way... I'll allow myself to be vulnerable to you.

ELI. just the trace the lines of your paisley jacket. says:

I like you, too, Addie. And I think that's definitely a good idea. But hey, I gotta go. Adam is here to play some music. Come over around noon? I'll brew you up some lunch.

Add-a-line [Summer and gold throw their colors at the dark.] says:

Okay. ^_^ Text me your address so Damien can bring me. See you then! 3

**x x x x**

I wore a tight black shirt with a frat boy, oversized gray and yellow cardigan and ripped up, acid-wash skinny jeans and my black boots. I figured for a day with the guys, I mine as well stay comfy. I made sure my wavy blond hair was extra messy and made sure my smokey eye wasn't as dramatic and topped it off with some red lipstick. By the time I was finished, Damien called me downstairs to leave where I was greeted sweetly by a beautiful Spanish guy with perfectly sculpted hair and a perfect smile. This had to be Marco.

"Hey! You must be Marco. I'm Adeline." I extended my hand to shake his and he grasped it smiling.

"That I am. Damien here is already talking about me, huh?" He nudged my brother, who, unexpectedly, blushed a deep, deep shade of red.

Never have I ever seen my brother so bashful.

"You bet he has. He kept saying you're gorgeous at breakfast and boasting about all your successes and sexy mmermrmemmer!" My sentence was muffled by my brother's hand, which I smacked in return. "You're going to fuck up my lipstick, Damien. Goodness. I didn't know your infatuation was a secret."

"Shut up, Addie! Or you can walk to Eli's!" He put me in a headlock and started to give me a noogie.

"Okaay! Okay! Stop. Stop! Stop!" I escaped his death trap and sent him a glare and a pout. "You jerk."

"Let's go. We must get you to your little dark prince!" I rolled my eyes at my brother, who was grinning at Marco, who looked extremely amused.

"I don't know if I should be happy or sad that I have no siblings." He laughed, following us out the door.

"Despite our moments, we are the epitome of perfect siblings. Than again, we wouldn't be siblings without those moments." I smiled.


	7. Chapter 7: Drink the poison

**Sooo, I have a confession. **I am using some material from the Degrassi episodes for this story. Though, they are going to be changed and, as you can tell, I have switched the chain of events around a little bit. So yes, I know that Clare's broken glasses and the Dead Hand ticket contest are not in the same day, or even remotely close to each other, but that's just how I decided to do it. There is reasoning behind my madness. I've also come up with another plan for an Eli and OC fan fiction.

**Should I start it now, or finish this one first?**

It's been really difficult for me to update this, just because there are things I wanted to do differently, but it's a little late now to go back and change it. I just want to note that I wont quit this story even if I start a new one, but I want to hear everyone's opinion. It may take longer for me to update this as a result and if it becomes too much one story might go on hiatus.

Sorry, this one is really short, but I'm having difficulties writing right now. I'm trying my best though.

**x x x x**

When I got to Eli's house, I was surprised to find that his house wasn't a dark castle surrounded by a creepy black iron fence. It was a simple, brick house. It was an innocent looking home, side from the hearse parked in the driveway, everything was normal about it. I can't say I wasn't hoping for something more interesting. I walked up to knock on the door, but it swung open before my knuckles touched the wood.

"Oh, hey. Are you here to see Eli?" It was a woman, with frizzy blond hair and bloodshot eyes. She had a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other.

"Er, yeah. I'm Adeline." I smiled shyly, hoping that she would just send me off.

"Yeah, okay. I'm Eli's mom, they're downstairs. I'm going next door to avoid the shitty music they keep playing down there." She weaved around me and wobbled off.

I walked into the house, looking around mildly confused. I mean, I had never been here before. How the hell was I supposed to know where the basement was? I awkwardly walked around, afraid to open any doors. His house smelled like cigarette smoke and marijuana. It seemed like they kept the house relatively clean, with no pets.

Music started playing, and I decided my best bet was to follow the sound and in no time I found the stairs, hopping down every step until I saw Adam strumming chords on his bass while Eli played guitar. I was surprised to see an entire recording studio downstairs. All the stuff was pretty nice, the drums, the guitars, the microphones and amps and to be honest, I was extremely excited. I hadn't been able to sing and jam with people in forever and I missed being in a band.

I walked closer so they noticed I was here and the music ceased, Eli smirked and Adam looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Hey Adeline." Adam said, turning to walk to the computer and messing with it.

"Hi Adam." I replied. 'Did you tell him?' I mouthed to Eli and he shrugged.

I couldn't help, but blush.

"Are you mad?" He asked.

I shook my head and looked around more. "Nice studio, Eli. Can I sing a song? You know Cherry Bomb by The Runaways?"

"Are you kidding me? Let's do it!" He smiled, standing up with his guitar. Adam walked over with his bass, too.

_Can't stay at home, can't stay at school_

_Old folks say, you poor little fool_

_Down the street I'm the girl next door_

_I'm the fox you've been waiting for_

_Hello daddy, hello mom_

_I'm your ch ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!_

_Hello world I'm your wild girl_

_I'm your ch ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!_

_Stone age love and strange sounds too_

_Come on baby let me get to you_

_Bad nights causing teenage blues_

_Get down ladies you've got nothing to lose_

_Hello daddy, hello mom_

_I'm your ch ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!_

_Hello world I'm your wild girl_

_I'm your ch ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!_

_Hey street boy what's your style_

_Your dead end dreams don't make you smile_

_I'll give you somthing to life for_

_Have ya, grab ya til your sore_

_Hello daddy, hello mom_

_I'm your ch ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!_

_Hello world I'm your wild girl_

_I'm your ch ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb!_

"That was amazing! I didn't know you could sing. We should totally start a band!" Adam grinned, jumping up and down excitedly.

"Dude... what the hell are you doing?" Eli raised an eyebrow at Adam.

Adam looked back at him, unsure of what to say. I assumed Eli didn't know that Adam is a girl yet, it was amusing to watch. Adam had slip-ups once in a while and always said outdated man things.

"That would be amazing, Adam. Do we know any drummers or guitarists?" I looked at the two boys.

"Sav plays guitar! And we can put up flyers at school and have auditions for a drummer." Adam grinned.

"Perfect" I smiled back at him.

**x x x x**

Eli and I wrote our poem about music, since it was one thing we were passionate about and, now, one thing we shared with being in our band. We all pondered a band name for hours until we actually picked one. _Kurmudgeon! _Based on the word 'curmudgeon', which means grumpy old man, but we thought it would be more interesting with a 'K' and an exclamation point. It made it sound like you had to yell the band name, instead of just saying it. Adam had left before we started writing our poem and it was getting pretty late.

"So, Adam is already working on the flyers for the auditions. I'm sure we'll have no problem writing music, right?" Eli said, doodling on the paper we scribbled our poem onto.

"Yeah. I want it to be collaborated, though. If we're going to be a band we have to be close to each other, right? Be able to talk about everything. So I want the music to be about all of us." It was still weird to be around Eli. I wasn't sure how he felt at this point. Did he still like me? Or did he throw those feelings away when I denied him?

"Yeah. Sounds perfect." Eli smiled.

There was a crash above us and both of our heads shot up to see the ceiling shake. Then two people started yelling and screaming. I looked over to Eli who squeezed his eyes shut. Then there was another crash and more screaming before footsteps made their way down the steps where a man stood, who looked like he had never seen a razor in his life because he had a long, scruffy beard and a stickly thin body. His eyes were bloodshot and looked super angry. My heart was pounding so fast.

"Ohhh damn, look at that! Eli, who is your lady friend? Didn't even introduce her. Guess there's no point, she'll probably turn out like the last one, eh? Six feet underground." He advanced on me and I immediately stood and looked to my feet, suddenly a little more scared. What the hell did he mean by that?

"Dad, we're just friends. We're not together." Eli said, giving his father a cold glare.

"Didja know that, missy? Eli's last girlfriend died because of him. Because he's a fuck up! Just like me!" His father put his hand on my shoulder and his face was real close to mine. It was so close that the booze on his breath burned my nose and made me nauseous.

Eli jumped from his spot and ran between us. "I have to take her home now, Dad. It's late."

"Well, alright. Don't kill 'er, though. Can't afford that again!" His Dad laughed, running up the stairs and I looked to Eli sadly. I wasn't sure what his Dad meant, but I didn't want to ask. I was scared of what his reaction might be. Apparently he read my mind.

"Before you get the wrong idea, I didn't physically kill her. It's just something I've blamed myself for. Still do." He sighed. "We got in a bad fight and she was really hurt. She took off on her bike and got hit by a car."

I was surprised. Who wouldn't be? Anything I had ever went through, any pain that I had ever encountered couldn't compare to Eli's love getting taken from this world. Yes, I was used and lied to and cheated on, but that is far worse than anything that could've happened to me and he was still willing to allow his heart to be broken all over again. And I? I was being a coward. A selfish coward, even though my feelings were definitely not the only ones involved, but that didn't stop me from wanting to know him better first. It didn't stop me.. from needing time.

"I'm really sorry, Eli." I took his hand, caressing it with my thumb. "That isn't your fault, though. What happened is purely coincidental. You shouldn't blame yourself for that."

"I know that, it's just difficult for me to think any other way." He looked down at our hands entwined. "But I think, if that didn't happen I wouldn't have met you. And that's definitely something I don't want to give up."


End file.
